Interlude in Paradise
by Helena Mira
Summary: It's a Hawaiian honeymoon for Phoebe and Hal where they share romance and past lives.
1. Chapter 1

_I do not own these characters and make no profit from them._

**Interlude on a Garden Isle**

**Prologue**

When their Aloha Airlines flight touched down in Honolulu the day after Christmas, Phoebe looked eagerly out the window. She had been to tropical islands before, but this was the first one she was visiting for a romantic holiday. She and her husband were actually getting three weeks away from the children in this garden paradise. It was their belated, yet much anticipated, honeymoon.

They were flying out to Kauai tomorrow. It was a smaller, much less popular destination for tourists and therefore the perfect choice for them. They wouldn't even have to stay in a hotel. Hal's brother Bob had rented a bungalow for them on the western side of the island, outside of the town of Waimea. Hal's mother had insisted on it.

"The sunsets are spectacular," she said, "But you're so near to the equator that the sun just seems to splash down into the ocean. And you'll get less sun in the morning."

She liked that thought. She also liked that fact that it was on a secluded beachfront. They would have their own private beach. Having their own place also meant that they wouldn't have to eat out for every meal. They could eat breakfast at their leisure and only go out to dinner if they wanted.

After living with the four children in the house and for a time Hal's parents, the privacy was a treat. And cooking for two would be a breeze. They could do things when they wanted and not do anything at all if they wanted. It was three weeks of complete freedom and she was ready to relish them.

The day before had been a joyful occasion. Surrounded by her family, old and new, she had presided over a Christmas dinner to be proud of. Trelawney, who didn't like goose to begin with, had prevailed upon her to substitute roast beef. This was a hit with all the men in the family. Aunt Henrietta was very disapproving of the change in menu and tried to view it as an insult to the family. However her cousin, Emmeline, had been there to smooth things over so it had all worked out.

Saying goodbye to the children had been easier than they had thought. Of course, they were all so comfortable with Hal's parents now that they didn't even feel as if they were being babysat. Emmeline was staying until New Years along with Ben and Bob who had also promised to return on Three Kings Day to make sure that the gift giving would go on.

Prudence had looked a little tearful at the airport, but promises of special treats from Grammy cheered her up by the time they were boarding. After the busy days leading up to the holiday, no sooner had they taken off than she had fallen sound asleep in her first class seat on her husband's shoulder. Thus, by the time they reached Oahu, she was refreshed.

Hal's older brothers Bob and Ben spared no expense in providing them with the best in travel arrangements. Neither she nor Hal had ever flown first class before. There was a limo waiting for them at the airport to take them to their hotel in Waikiki for one night. Although they were staying at the Royal Hawaiian, a glitzy, touristy type of place, they were to have a suite overlooking the harbor and an elegant dinner for two from room service.

In the morning, it would be back to the airport in the limo for a private jet flight for the short hop to Kauai. Once there, Bob had rented them a luxury sedan for driving around the island. The bungalow was the perfect size for two and Bob had been thoughtful enough to set up an expense account at a local grocery.

There was no telephone at the bungalow for added privacy, but Hal's parents had the number of the rental agent in the case of an emergency. Before they left town, there had even been a stop at a local bank for a pack of traveler's checks for other expenses they might run into. Bob and Ben thought of everything.

As a Christmas gift, they had also given her a fine set of new luggage. She was surprised and pleased. Never one to spend an extra dime on herself that she didn't have to, she had been traveling around with the same old suitcase and trunk for years. However, she had no objections to her new brother-in-laws splurging on her.

In addition to being wealthy, they had also done a pretty good job a couple of months ago of humiliating her with their innuendos about her virtue and Hal's self-control before the wedding. Even though they had been intended to needle her husband, she had felt the insult as well.

When they arrived at the honeymoon suite at the Royal Hawaiian, Hal had used it as an excuse to carry her over the threshold for a third time. After laying her down gently on the king-sized bed, he proceeded initiate their second honeymoon with great enthusiasm. Her response was no less enthusiastic. They had already been married for less than three months, but the complete change of venue and the prospect of unlimited time alone increased their appetite for one another. Phoebe was in paradise.

**Musings on a Tropical Night**

Hal lay in bed with his wife curled up beside him, peacefully sleeping. The night was dark and very quiet. The only sound was the barely perceptible whirring of the ceiling fan turning above them. There was no need for air conditioning. The night air was cool and dry. If he listened very hard, he could hear the sound of the ocean waves on their private beach. Their days in Kauai so far had been everything that his mother had promised they would be, and more.

It was their third night there and since they had stopped for provisions at the local grocery on their way in they had not seen or heard from another soul. They were completely off in their own little world. With no one but each other for company, they were free to make love at will, which they did. And they talked. With no possible interruptions from demanding children, neighbors, or colleagues they were free to talk about whatever they wished whenever they wished.

It wasn't as if they didn't talk at home. In fact they constantly did. But it was always about this child or that, this event or that, this problem or that. It was about juggling schedules and managing workloads. They had to coordinate calendars, keep up with cleaning and laundry, and make sure that they kids were keeping up with their schoolwork. But they had never been able to just talk about themselves.

It was not as if they hadn't talked about themselves. They had had a couple of long weekends together where they had had a few deep conversations. However, it takes time to build up to the point of sharing one's deepest confidences. It had always seemed that just as they were reaching that point, the weekend was over and the moment was passed. There was so much that he wanted to know about her and he knew that there were many things that she wanted to know about him. The time had finally come.

For the first couple of hours after they had arrived, they fell into the old habit. Phoebe wondered if the kids were behaving themselves. He was hoping that nothing was going on at the university that he needed to know about. But after lunch, he decided that he had had enough of that. He invited his beautiful wife to put on her swimsuit and walk down the beach with him. They stood there looking out on the empty horizon.

"It's really just the two of us," she said wonderingly.

He looked at her and picked her up to kiss her. Suddenly he had a naughty idea and running down the beach he splashed into the water and tossed her in. She came up sputtering and vowing revenge. They chased each other around the beach and through the water, stopping every once in a while for a passionate kiss. He felt like a kid again. When they were finally breathless, they spread out the towels and lay side by side. When he had caught his breath enough to speak, he leaned up on his elbow and said, "I love you."

She smiled at him. Without a word her beautiful blue eyes, reflecting the color of the sea and sky around them, answered him. He fell on her as she pulled his mouth down to hers. Realizing they were completely alone, he made love to her right there in the middle of the beach. Feeling even more daring he invited her to go skinny-dipping in the ocean. Laughing once again, she beat him to the water. The cool Pacific felt good after the burning sands, but not nearly as good as his wife's body next to his own.

After that there was no more talk of kids or work. It was talk of them. Free of the mundane topics forced upon them by ordinary life they were able to ask one another all the questions that had built up over the months once they had realized they were in love with one another and made their commitment to spend their lives together. As they talked Hal began to sense that his past life had been a mere prelude to this life that he now was sharing with this beautiful and sensuous woman.

She felt the same way. As they had walked along the beach that evening at sunset holding hands, she told him that she had never really felt alive until she found out that she loved him. This idea of romantic love, of sharing her life with a soul mate was not one of her expectations from life.

Marriage was a duty, a social contract to be fulfilled. Only the lucky in her world would marry such a person, a person with a deeply felt passion for the other. The lottery of family expectations and requirements rarely hit the jackpot for any of them. Her parents' relationship was exceptional.

She had known that she would not have such marriage. Her betrothed from birth stirred no great feelings within her. He was compatible, acceptable as a mate, but really nothing more. She had traveled the world and of course met men everywhere she went. There were a couple of passing fancies. In any case, she could look, but she could not touch. She had never met anyone who really interested her anyway.

Now, thousands of miles away from everything and everyone else in her life, her destiny was clear. Some luck of the draw had helped her escape that fate. She was indeed one of the fortunate ones. But it frightened her sometimes.

Sometimes she feared that it could all slip away. She was afraid that she would wake up one morning and discover that it was all a beautiful dream. But here in this island paradise it felt real. This was not a place she could have dreamed or a love that she had ever imagined.

Hal loved to listen to her. It wasn't just her low musical voice or the beauty of her speech. He enjoyed her fantastical constructions of life. When she spoke of past lives and loving him before she was born, he could almost believe her.

The sky seemed impossibly clear out here in the middle of the ocean. At night they would lie on the beach side by side. He would point out the various stars and constellations and she would tell him of their mythological origins.

It seemed that everything in the natural world that he understood through scientific knowledge, she saw through the eyes of a poet. It was as if they were a modern astronomer and ancient astrologer conversing across the millennia. She always looked most beautiful to him in the moonlight.

She was Phoebe, "pure light" in Greek, the goddess of the moon. In the day, she seemed to him to radiate a golden light, reflecting the sun in her honey-blonde hair and pale golden skin. But at night the light turned silvery. Her skin took on a milky white appearance and her hair shone like white gold. At either time, her eyes were a lovely blue, almost like stars or perhaps even the evening star, Venus. They always shone with love for him. In his more fanciful moments, she seemed to be his own personal goddess of love.

When he told her she laughed. She accused him of rejecting his scientific mindset for her romantic one. However, he was rejecting nothing. Instead he claimed that there had always been a poet inside him who was just waiting for her to release him. She had transformed his scientific vision of the universe and overlaid on it her philosophical view of the cosmos.

She was also highly intelligent, despite her innate romanticism, and her conversation was stimulating and even didactic, but never esoteric. She shared his love of knowledge and learning. But she viewed things through an aesthetic, rather than a scientific, lens.

She had discovered within him an unknown part. It was a part that was hers alone, to be shared by no one else. She had unlocked a region in his heart that had been waiting for her his entire life. He had never known that he could understand the world through the eyes of a romantic. She had shown him that love and beauty could coexist science and numbers. Her love for him had forced him to search deep within himself to match it with his own for passion and intensity. She was moved when he told her that.

Because she was his second wife and he had dearly loved his first wife, he knew that she was always a little fearful that she might not "measure up." When they had gone to bed on Christmas Eve he had tried to reassure her that he loved her as he had loved no one else.

She was his angel wife, his little bit of heaven that wandered down to fill his life with love and beauty. There were no ghosts between them. However, chances were very good that there might be someone else, their own little angel sent down to earth to bless their lives and their love.

She had amused him since they had arrived. She had suddenly realized that her appetite had increased and that she was eating more than normal. He was having fun with her. He told her that it must be the sun and sea, that all this outdoor activity was making her feel hungrier. He didn't tell her that he thought that she was eating for two now.

In addition to feeling more hungry, she was also more tired. At home, he had attributed that to her busy schedule and late nights at home. Here he once again attributed to the sun and sea. It was amusing, almost a game. She seemed to have no idea that it was possible that the miracle had already happened. In fact, she kept talking about a "honeymoon baby."

"We missed our chance on the first honeymoon," she explained. "It must not have been long enough. Now we have three weeks."

He had soothed her and said, "Of course we do. Before you know it, you'll be sick every morning and then you'll be sorry."

He liked to tell her that because it annoyed her so much. She would try to smack him, he would grab her wrist and kiss her and then take her off to bed. If he was really worried about it, he wouldn't be teasing her so much. But all the signs were pointing in the positive direction. The only thing he worried about now was any real discomfort starting before the honeymoon was over. That would certainly put a damper on things.

He heard her sigh as she stirred beside him. He turned on his side and gathered her in his arms. He always slept surrounding her. She was the most precious blessing in his life. Now she was the vessel bearing his most precious gift to her. He would keep them both close to his heart.


	2. Chapter 2

**Musings in a Tropical Day**

After a week of exploring each other, ensconced as they were at the bungalow, they finally decided to emerge and discover the island. Phoebe was enjoying the indolent lifestyle, but she knew that Hal was getting restless. She was a bit surprised at herself. Normally when she traveled she enjoyed going around and seeing the sights. Since they had arrived, she had been content to rest in his arms and talk or nap.

Going down to the water was fun but she was always nervous that her fair skin could burn in the sun. Hal tanned easily, but she didn't want to take any chances. Experience had taught her that there was no better way to ruin a vacation than to get sunburned and no better way to get sunburned than from the sun reflecting off the water and onto the white sand. However, there was plenty of shade around the house and beach was a lovely place to be at night. Having explored their own little bit of paradise, it was time to see what else was out there.

"So what will it be, today?" asked Hal at breakfast. "If we don't want to drive far on our first day out, would you like to go up to the Canyon or to the old town of Hanapepe where all the art galleries are?"

"What's your preference?" she replied. "I haven't really thought about it."

Hal shrugged. "We still have two whole weeks to explore the island. There's lots to see, but the island is so small that we can pretty much go wherever we want on any given day. I have to admit that I'm interested in the canyon. The pictures that I've seen really do seem to indicate that it rivals the Grand Canyon, even if it is not nearly as large. We can do some hiking."

"That's fine with me. It's a beautiful day," she answered. "Maybe we should save the art galleries for a rainy day."

Hal laughed. "I don't anticipate any rainy days. But you're right about this being a great day for getting outside and hiking or something."

Phoebe smiled. She should have realized that herself. However, she did want him to get first choice. They had mostly been puttering around the house because she had been enjoying the leisurely life. They had ventured into Waimea town a couple of times for supplies and once for dinner, but she was enjoying not driving all over the place.

"I suppose it's because I feel like I spend half my life in the car at home," she had explained a couple of days ago as he was trying to pry her off her lounge chair. "It's nice to have to not be in and out of the car all day."

"Actually," said Hal. "It's a pleasure not to have to drive a station wagon everywhere. I'm enjoying the sedan. Besides, you don't have to do the driving."

"True," she had replied. "But could I please have a couple of more days of being alone with you?"

That was the point that could always win him over. Of course as they were driving around from place to place they could talk and once they got there they didn't have interact with anyone else. There were lots of honeymooners in Hawaii, so there seemed to be some unwritten laws about protecting privacy and tolerance of public displays of affection. It was odd that she was the one who had indulged her wanderlust up until about a couple of years ago. Playfully he told her that she had given up the wandering part and had turned to indulging only in the lust.

"I don't hear you complaining," she had said seductively.

"Never!" he had answered and then picked her up to carry her off to their bed so that they could indulge in a little lust together.

Because they were going up to the canyon, Phoebe decided to pack them a picnic lunch. They both preferred whatever food she prepared to the fare available at the local roadside stands. As they drove up to the park, she realized why Hal found the sedan more pleasant to drive. The ride was smoother and the car was certainly easier to maneuver. But of course the station wagon at home was a necessity with all the kids.

Now that they were out and about, Phoebe felt more energized. She had never been to the Grand Canyon in Arizona, but Hal had. In fact there were many places in the US that she had never seen. She supposed that now that she was living permanently in America that she would be seeing more of it. And of course her children would be half-American. It was one of those things that she was still not entirely used to.

"You've been very quiet," commented Hal. "I hope that you're not worried about anything."

"What do I have to worry about?" asked Phoebe. "No, I was just thinking about how much of the world that I've seen but how little of America. That led me to realize that my children will be half-American. It's something that I had never given much thought to."

"Well, I guess then that it's kind of funny that the first bit of America that you're really exploring is Hawaii. That is the state that most Americans haven't been to," he commented.

"I guess so," replied Phoebe. "I must say that it is an interesting place, especially Kauai. It's such a small island really, but there's rainforest in the interior and barely eighteen inches of rain per year where we are. I wish that we could see the interior. It's too bad that you can't get there."

"We can fly over in a helicopter," answered Hal. "There are plenty of excursions. If we want to go out to the Napali coast up north, the only way is to hike in or go by helicopter."

He then laughed.

"What's so funny?" she asked.

"Well, it's rather amusing to hear you comparing ecosystems. Maybe my scientific mind is rubbing off a little bit on you," he said smiling.

"I don't see why not," answered Phoebe. "It only makes sense that we would influence each other."

"Yes, but most of the time we are doing much more than influencing each other," he said.

She laughed and noted that they had reached the first outlook along the rim.

Hal pulled out a camera.

"I intend to take lots of pictures of you out here. In fact I want pictures of you everywhere that we go," he said. "The kids will certainly want to see them and you look so beautiful in the sunlight."

"Well, I'll have to take pictures of you too," she commented. "And if anyone else is around we can ask them to take pictures of both of us."

Putting his arm around her, he whispered that he hoped that there wouldn't be too many other people around.

The colors of the canyon were amazing. There were deep reds and oranges as well as very dark green vegetation down by the river that had originally carved the canyon.

"I can see why Waimea Canyon is compared with the Grand Canyon. The canyon walls are the same colors, however the greens are much darker. The climate here is not really the same as the desert," he said.

"I think it's lovely," she replied.

After taking a few pictures, they hopped back in the car and found a spot to stop and hike in. After a while they stopped to eat.

"I know that you've done a lot of traveling before," he noted. "How does this compare?"

"Are you referring to the scenery or the company?"

"The company," he said with a mischievous smile.

"There really is no comparison," she answered. "I have never traveled anywhere with a lover, but for the most part I haven't traveled anywhere with anyone. And certainly never for the purpose of just traveling."

"Do you mean that all of your travel has been 'job related' so to speak?" he asked curiously.

"No, not entirely," she said. "I do have family living and traveling all over the world. Since I started, I had never stayed as long in one place as I did with you. Often I would stop off various places in between jobs to visit. The jobs never lasted long, maybe a few months at the most. Usually if I could settle down the kids and get the household organized, the father in the home would conveniently fall in love and off I would go to my next family."

"But I was very uncooperative," he said with a smile. "You did an excellent job of getting the kids settled down and the house organized, but I'm afraid that I fell in love with the wrong person."

"Yes, well, that certainly was not supposed to happen."

"I'm curious, and I guess I've always been curious," he asked. "Did any of your previous employers ever fall in love with you?"

She thought about that for a minute. Quite frankly, it had never crossed her mind that any of her employers might fall in love with her.

"I don't think so," she replied. "If they did, the infatuation couldn't have lasted long."

"Because they were so cooperative about falling in love with someone else," he filled in.

"Yes, you could say that," she said. "And I gave them no encouragement."

He looked at her and she knew that he was thinking that she had encouraged him. He was thinking of the stolen kiss under the mistletoe. But that was one of those things that he would never understand. Although maybe he would, she had been surprised at how many things that he did understand about her.

There were times when she wondered if somewhere back in his family tree there had not been a mixed marriage and some of their intuitions did not occasionally show up in him. However, his only showed up in relation to her. If there were a mixed marriage in his background it most likely would have come from Rob's side. Rob's quiet strength and wisdom reminded her very much of her father. But she also knew that after a generation or so, these things slipped away. She had never heard of such things lasting any longer.

**Indolence**

The day after their trip up to the Waimea Canyon, Phoebe was extremely tired. Hal was very concerned that she may have pushed herself too much for his sake. He wondered if it might not be wise to tell her of his suspicions and take her to a local doctor. However he also knew that it was too early as of yet to get an accurate test. It would be all too easy to get a false negative and ruin her good mood.

He decided that it would be much better to pamper her and make sure that their future outings did not include a lot of physical exertion. There were a couple of helicopter tours that they could take, the art galleries in Hanapepe, the museums in Lihue, and then a couple of spectacular waterfalls that would be easy for them to walk to. He would tell her that he would be happy doing whatever she wanted. If she wanted to spend the rest their time at the bungalow, that was also fine.

It was true. He was discovering more about her than he ever thought that he would, mostly because they were spending so much time just sitting around and talking. He had brought a book, but so far hadn't even opened it. He knew now that she had been holding back on a lot of personal information because she was afraid that he would not believe her. He certainly knew that there was more, but he wanted her to open up to him in her own time. He surprised himself by suspending his own skepticism about such things. However, since he had come to know her so well, it all made sense.

The next day he was pleased by their outing to Hanapepe. He was not particularly interested in the artwork, but it had opened up a whole new avenue in his discovery of her for him. As they explored the art galleries, he was amazed by her knowledge of painting styles and techniques. She also had an eye for the good versus the very good versus the excellent.

Quite frankly, since he couldn't even draw a straight line, some of the paintings looked great to him. Some didn't interest him. Others, he just plain didn't like. He was certainly no connoisseur. It was then that she admitted to him that she had studied art history at university. A most impractical field of course, which was probably how she had ended up making a career out of being a nanny. Unlike him, her work life had evolved, rather than followed a career path.

She had decided to work as an _au pair_ in Barcelona, Spain one summer to improve her Spanish and, she admitted, to have the opportunity to visit museums on her days off. She discovered that she liked working with children and it was a good way to travel the world and see art works in their natural environments, rather than in, say, the British Museum. She continued to work for the agency after graduation.

After a while she began to "free lance" and found that her intuitions would lead her to places where she was needed most. In fact, she admitted, that was how she had found him. It had nothing to do with Miss Dunbar, although she had needed to get her timing right.

It had been very useful that the children had convinced him to let them try to "make it on their own" for a short period of time. Once he contacted the agency officially it would have been hard to get around the paperwork that they required, which would have included references.

It had not hurt that he was so desperate that he had taken her without references. She traveled without them since her stays in homes were so short that they could have been considered "red flags" as to her ability to do the job. As in all of her other homes, once she had made herself indispensable, the issue of references had vanished.

The date with Alice Miller had been sheer luck so early on in her employment with him. Alice had been able to give him a logical explanation for her handling of the "Wiblet situation" and that had quelled his own fears that she was nuts. She explained that she had needed to make Prudence have absolute faith in her own belief in the monster so that she could dispel it from her dreams. That was why she had risked really making him mad.

It was that episode that had made him and his son, Hal, open to allowing Prudence to enjoy her little bit of make believe with the typewriter teaching her the words "love" and "family." She also admitted to having a bit of fun with Lynn Carlisle and her strategies towards "unlocking" the children's inner feelings and properly "rooting them in reality." She had found it ironic that she wanted the children to act out as a way rebelling against what they were "supposed to do." However, like many a scientific experiment, the outcome was predicted by the way it was set up.

She believed that when the children acted out in her lab that they were actually just acting the way that Lynn had expected them to. Like all children, they wanted to please. In other words, Lynn really didn't know what the children really wanted to do because now they were doing what she wanted them to do. Prudence and Butch had broken the mold since they had rebelled against her notions of childhood rebellion. They knew their own minds and were not going to be intimidated by her preconceived notions of how a child's mind thought or rebelled.

The problem with the aggressive monkey had been that he really didn't like Lynn and her experiments. He was acting out his own feelings of hostility by throwing the blocks at her. Once he ran out of "ammunition," he was perfectly content to go back into the cage. In fact after being chased around the room by the kids, the animals were all happy to return to the safety of their cages. She had needed to do a little bit of coaxing, but not really very much.

He enjoyed those moments when he knew that she was taking him into her confidence and trusting him with these "secrets" to her success. More than knowing the whys and wherefores of whom she was, all he had really wanted her trust. Just as she had shared her deepest fear that their love was a beautiful dream that could end at any time, he had felt the same way. She was surprised when he told her.

She had appeared on his doorstep out of nowhere and his greatest fear was that she could vanish just as quickly. He had wondered if he, himself, were not living out a dream. After Helen died, he had not imagined such a love again. But here she was, sleeping in his arms each night. He had finally come to realize that she would still be there every morning when he awoke.

And so, by finally expressing their deepest fears to one another that this wondrous love might suddenly vanish, they reached a new level of trust and understanding with each other. Once again their love deepened. Hal knew that he had reached a level of intimacy with her that he had never reached with anyone else before. It was special. And it was his.

**Trust**

After their day trip up to Waimea Canyon, Phoebe was exhausted. She fell asleep as they were lying together on the beach that night and only woke up in full sunlight the next morning, almost afternoon, in their bed. Hal was ready for her with breakfast in bed and explained that he hadn't wanted to disturb her. She had been sleeping so peacefully, that he had carried her back to the house.

She knew that he had done that before, but it was at home before they were married and he wanted to put her in her own bed without waking her.

"Didn't you miss me?" she asked, knowing that he would understand that she meant making love to her.

"No," he said gently. "I slept with you in my arms. How could I miss you when you were right beside my heart."

She knew how much he loved and desired her. If she had had the energy, she would have made it up to him right then and there, but she felt an unknown languor. She knew instinctively that she was not sick. She just didn't know what she was. She spent the day resting.

He moved a couple of beach chairs out to the shade where they could view the water and talk. That night when they went to bed, she pulled him on top of her and asked him to make love to her, which he did, tenderly and gently.

She knew that he was treating her with extra care. It was very sweet of him. She began to realize that she was very precious to him and that, more than anything, he wanted her trust. There were so many things about her that he didn't know and didn't understand. When he had married her three months ago, he had thought that he didn't want to know.

But the closer they grew in mind and body the more he actually did want to know. He had married her knowing that she came from another world. He accepted there were things that he might never know or never understand. He never directly asked her. He wanted her to freely tell him.

As always, she fell asleep in his arms that night. She felt surrounded by his love and desire to keep her safe. She knew that the time had come for her to begin to open herself up to him. But she did not know where to start. She was skilled in the art of evasion, not revelation.

The next day they took a leisurely stroll around the old town at Hanapepe and visited several of the art galleries. Without realizing it, she began to explain and analyze the paintings for him. He looked at her in surprise that she knew so much. It was then that she had to admit that she had studied art history at university and that was what had helped to develop her aesthetic sensibilities.

That discussion opened the door to her sharing some of her life story with him. They stayed up late into the night as she shared with him who she was, how she had come to him, and the depth of her feeling for him. She was surprised that he accepted what she told him without skepticism or reservation.

He admitted that even after they were married, he was afraid she would disappear as quickly as she had appeared. It was his own irrational fear. She put his mind to rest. She was his. She explained to him that in her world, once she had given herself not only in heart, but in body, she was bound to him for life. When she had offered herself to him, one week before they married, she had known this.

However, because he was not of her world, he did not know of the binding nature of the consummation of their love that night. It had taken great trust on her part to believe that he would indeed make the final commitment in the eyes of God. Until he had slipped the ring on her finger, it had always been a risk. But it was a risk that she had gladly taken if it had finally been the impetus to get them to the altar. She had just wanted to be his wife.

She could see that he was happy that she had finally given him an understanding of how she had come to him. He now had the security of knowing that what they had was not only real, it was permanent. He might not fully understand her world, but he knew now that it would never come between them. It could not. Ironically, it was the rules of her world that would insure that they would never be parted.

**Memories**

Hal decided that once she was fully rested up from the trip to Waimea Canyon, he would take her over to Wailua Falls. Not only were the falls beautiful, driving the shoreline road gave them lots to see. Every once in a while, something would catch one of their eyes and they would stop and get out and poke around. She didn't suggest hiking and he didn't bring it up. She must have realized that all he wanted was for her to enjoy herself because she stopped asking him if it was okay if all they did was stand and look.

Another day, they took a helicopter ride up to the Napali Coast on the north side of the island. The coast was lush and wild. It was wonderful that it was still pristine, untouched by the human hands that would have torn it apart to create space for more hotels and beaches. As they were flying over, he hoped that they could return one day to hike in. She looked at him with understanding and mouthed the words, me too.

As with all vacations, once they had passed the midpoint, time began time move more quickly. They took a few more day trips, but mostly spent their time soaking up the pleasure of each other's company. But there was one activity that they never missed.

Each night, they took a blanket down to the beach and lay under the vast canopy of stars. They made love out there a few times, but both finally admitted that the idea of it was much more romantic than the actual doing. It was much more comfortable to lie in their bed together and not have to think about sand or insects.

But stargazing had been one of their favorite mutual activities since the beginning of their relationship. He had first held her, really held her, in his arms under the stars. He had slipped the engagement ring, shaped like a star, onto her finger under the stars. He had first felt their spirits merge under the stars.

When they lay under the stars together, he found himself most profoundly believing that their relationship was fated. In the absolute stillness of the night, he understood the nature of destiny, not just their destiny, but destiny as a concept. Her psychic understanding of the world around them made her own belief implicit. She felt a connection to him that she told him defied what he considered rational explanation.

One night, towards the very end of their stay, she tried to make him understand.

"We are all connected," she explained. "To a reality that defies time and place. We have all lived before and will all live again beyond our present life spans."

"Are you talking about reincarnation?" he had asked.

"No," she replied slowly. "The Hindu concept of reincarnation comes close, but it doesn't fully explain it. However, the kind of meditation that the Hindus use to understand the world is a very useful tool for setting your mind at rest if you stray too far from the universal consciousness."

Hal was intrigued by what she was suggesting.

"I have observed you often enough to realize that you meditate when things are disturbing you," he said. "In fact, there have been times when I have purposely brought you out to look at the stars so that you could, I don't know exactly how to say it, sooth yourself."

"I know that," she smiled. "It was one of the first things that made me realize that our love was even possible. You were able to sense in me not only that I was no longer at peace, but you knew how to help me reconnect with my own inner sense of peace. Even if you were of my world, it would be a rare thing if you could do it."

"I figured that out back when Trelawney finally forced you to realize that our love was not only possible, but that your parents would have given their blessing," he said.

"I believe that they did give their blessing," she said seriously. "I did not see that note that my Mum wrote me when I took out the dress. And Trelawney never knew of a note. I do believe that while there will never be a reasonable explanation for how the note got there, it was from her. It was in her handwriting."

"I suspected as much," he replied. "And maybe it's because the note helped things turn out in my favor, so to speak, but I don't need an explanation either."

There was silence between them. Hal could hear the pounding of the waves against the beach and then felt Phoebe curl up closer against him.

"Are you ready to go in?" he asked.

"In a bit," she answered. "I want to stay out here a little while longer."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Anything," she said. "I will answer any question that you have."

"Do you ever regret marrying "outside your people," so to speak?" he asked.

"No, never," she said immediately. "You are my perfect other half. Whatever my family may say about bloodlines and mixed marriages, I don't care. I have a confession to make."

"You do?" he asked surprised.

"The very first time you kissed me, under the mistletoe when you were, well, pretty inebriated, I responded, shall we say, enthusiastically. I sensed the recognition that at some time in a past life I had known you, in the Biblical sense of the word. I was afraid to tell you before, because I thought that you might think that I was trying to excuse imprudent behavior. For the circumstances at the time, the behavior was most imprudent.

"However, I was not fully in control of myself. The feelings you stirred in me were more powerful than any others I had ever felt before. I wanted you as much as you wanted me. If you hadn't broken our physical contact when you went to lock the door to your room, there is no doubt in my mind that it would have happened then," she said.

He looked over at her as she was speaking. She wasn't looking at him, but rather up at that stars.

"I imagine that that would have created a world of trouble for you," he commented.

"For both of us," she corrected him. "I would have been bound to you, at least among my people. Sooner or later, the family would have figured it out. It would have been a cause of great shame for me. And if you think that they are giving us a hard time now, you have no idea of how it would have been."

He gathered her in his arms and cradled her. Her kissed her softly.

"No," he said. "That would not have happened. In my drunken state, I still had enough presence to realize that what you were offering me was an unconditional and special love. I knew that you had never been with a man before. I guess men can sense these things. Perhaps it was because of your recognition of a previous love. But I felt a recognition of another kind.

"I recognized that what you were offering me had only been offered to me once in my life before. I had grabbed it then. If I had woken up on Christmas morning with you in my bed beside me, and I knew that I had taken you, and I knew that night that it would have been for the first time for you, I would have married you then, or as soon as was reasonably possible. And I would have protected you from any shame."

Before she could say another word, he tenderly kissed her. He opened his mind so that she would know that he was taking on faith the idea that they had been lovers in a past life or perhaps lives. He felt her opening her mind to him and he realized that somewhere in their shared past, she had born his child as well. And when he had thought he was imagining her heavy with his child, it was actually a long lost memory.

They did not speak of that conversation again. But every once in a while, they shared a special smile. They were remembering. At last, he felt at peace with the memory of that previous Christmas Eve. He had always been afraid that in spite of her denials to the contrary, the passionate kisses that they shared were themselves a violation of her virtue. But now he knew that they had been reflecting a past love and merely foreshadowed the inevitable. It was his best proof that what she had told him was true.


	3. Chapter 3

**Rumination**

On the flight back to Oahu, Phoebe found herself unusually queasy. She could only assume that it was something that she had eaten, although Hal had eaten the same things and seemed perfectly fine. She didn't bother to mention it. He was pensively looking out the window, lost in his own thoughts as they made their journey home. Since last night, he was more reticent than he had been before.

Last night on the beach, it had been his turn to open up about a hidden part of his past. It actually wasn't so hidden. She had just never really known the details. He admitted that he had been such a grind in high school that he hadn't really had any time for girls. However when it was time to go to the Prom he suddenly found himself the object of attention for a number of young ladies.

Of course all the girls were all desperate to find themselves dates for that special night. He wasn't sure if it was his looks or his car, which was more attractive to them. One of his friends however decided that he needed a "hot date." This friend did not have a car and since Hal had agreed to drive him, he figured that he was just trying to return the favor by making sure that his date was the "right girl" for him.

The Prom itself was all right. The food was something akin to the fare at a wedding, not bad, but not spectacular. The dance floor was so crowded that he found that it didn't matter that he wasn't very experienced or skilled at dancing. If you could shuffle your feet from side to side, you were pretty much set. However it was on the dance floor that Hal discovered just what his buddy, Mike, meant by a "hot date."

He found that once on the darkened floor she adhered herself to him in what he found to be a most uncomfortable way, at first. Once he got used to the unfamiliar sensations that she was generating, it was really rather pleasant. Before he knew it she was nuzzling his neck and making all sorts of other suggestions that he kiss her. When he obliged, he suddenly found that she had locked him in a full, open-mouthed French kiss. He suddenly realized that he was about to embark on a new adventure.

Following the Prom, Mike insisted that they stop for a case of beer and then headed out for one of the local make out spots in town. It was up there, at "the point," on the front seat of his father's car that his hot date initiated him into his manhood. She was there for the adventure of it. She told him that Mike had told him that he wanted her to show him a good time, and to "show him the ropes" so to speak. She thought was he was good looking and was looking forward to it.

She did a good job. She provided him with a very pleasurable experience and then showed him a few tricks for pleasuring her. At the end of the evening she thanked him for a good time and told him to give her a call for a date any time he wanted. Mike was impressed. Apparently, she was selective about the guys she dated. She could afford to be. Her nickname among the guys was "the student body."

Phoebe could see that he was not exactly proud of that adventure. Quite frankly, she didn't even know why he told her, until he told her about his college days when he was more "rambunctious." It took him a while to realize that that kind of "scoring" really wasn't all that much. His relationship with Marrijane Finley had been deeper. It was with her that he discovered that there was more to sex than physical pleasure. But in the end, things weren't going to work out.

They went to different graduate schools following college and slowly drifted apart. The final break for him came when he met Helen. They had "clicked" from the first date, which wasn't even supposed to be a "date" date. They had met at a mixer for new graduate students and spent the night talking about their absent significant others. At the end of the night, Hal suggested that they see a movie together. They could keep each other company while their "true loves" were away.

That was an example of how his scientific approach to life backfired. Helen had agreed with a knowing smile. They left after the first picture in a double feature and went back to her apartment. After that, they were inseparable. The ring that Hal had been thinking of for Marrijane, would now belong to Helen. They had had their trials. They had wanted to marry before Hal spent the year in Italy, but Bernice didn't want her daughter so far away for a year. Hal gave her the ring and hoped for the best.

While in Italy he remained true to her. It was not that he didn't have opportunities and it wasn't as if she could check up on him. He loved her completely and did not want to betray her trust in him. When he returned, they married. They were devoted to each other. Helen had given up any career prospects when she became pregnant with Hal. Instead she dedicated herself to him and their children. It wasn't easy for her.

During those ten years, he finished his doctorate, earned tenure, and then began to build his academic reputation. Teaching in a university was a never-ending struggle to balance teaching with research and publication. He loved both. Helen enjoyed her role as wife and mother and gave him the support he needed to begin his rise to the top of his field. Bernice was around more than he would have preferred, but since Helen enjoyed her company, it didn't bother him. Especially since he was always at work anyway.

It wasn't until it was too late that he realized that he had missed out on time with her because he had put his career first. He was devastated not only by facing up to her illness, but also the realization that he had missed out on years with her. She had never complained, but also never pursued his attentions. Bernice had encouraged her to help him to reach his professional goals. Even as she grew sicker and he took time off to be with her, Bernice was always there. She refused to let go of her "baby girl."

Up to this point, Phoebe had simply let him talk. He seemed to need to say everything that was in his mind and heart. She understood then that he had wanted to tell her about it the whole trip, but it was only now that he could bring himself to talk. It was clearly painful. They had been lying side by side, as always holding hands. When he stopped talking, she lifted herself up so that she could see him and realized that his face was wet with tears. It was her turn to cradle him in her arms.

He had never showed his emotions with her like this. He had always been the strong one. But now it was his turn to hold on to her and sob. And it was her turn to comfort. She held him as if he were one of the children and whispered, "there, there" softly, over and over. Finally, he breathed deeply.

"I need to finish," he said quietly.

"I know," she said softly. "Take your time. We have all night."

"I discovered then," he finally said. "That there is no greater regret in life for a man, than the regret that he did not spend enough time with the one he loved. I never regretted loving her or any of the things we did together. I regretted that I did not insist that we marry before I spent the year in Rome. I regret all of the hours that I spent working. I regret that we didn't have more time."

"Yes," said Phoebe. "To a certain extent I know how you feel. One of the greatest sorrows that I feel about the loss of my parents is that I spent so much time traveling as soon as I was old enough to go out on my own. They never complained, they always understood. It was a part of my Figalilly nature."

"I think that one of the worst nights of my life, was the night after we laid her to rest. Bernice and Tom left almost immediately. After she had been running the house for months. I was suddenly alone with the kids and I felt like I barely knew what to do," he continued. "Somehow I managed to get them to bed. I think Hal helped me. And then I sat in the living room for a long time by myself."

"Didn't you have any help at all?" she asked.

"Fred and Alice Fisk," he said. "Alice helped with the kids and then finding the first housekeeper. The first year wasn't so bad. We actually had the same woman. She was efficient, but not very warm. I wasn't much help. I buried myself in my work. For a while I couldn't even bear to look at the kids. But then, when Hal turned eleven, the problems started. Butch was already acting out and Prudence wanted constant attention. It didn't take long for the first housekeeper to throw in the towel."

"And then the revolving door started?" she asked.

"There were five housekeepers in a row, each lasting about six weeks. It wasn't until right before you came that I realized that they had been driving them away. Deep down, I knew it was because they wanted to me to spend more time with them, give them some attention," he said.

"And you were quite mad at me when I stirred things up in that direction," she commented.

"True," he admitted. "It wasn't that I didn't want to spend time with the children. It was the feeling of guilt that I hadn't. It was the same story all over again, only worse. You walked into my house determined to spread love and sunshine everywhere and it drove me crazy. You seemed to know exactly what you had to do to annoy me with all of your illogical perspectives and psychic moments."

"I didn't realize that you felt that strongly about it," she admitted. "I was focused on the children and their needs. However it seemed that after Christmas that you started to mend your ways, so to speak, with regard to them."

"I did," he said. "The nightmare that was induced by my drunken state on Christmas Eve convinced me that I had to change. I was just coming to grips with it all when Emmeline showed up with Trelawney. That was when I finally admitted to myself that I didn't want you to stay just for the kids. I wanted you to stay for myself."

"And I wanted to stay," she said. "It took me a little longer to realize that I didn't want to just stay for the kids. I wanted to stay for you."

They were looking at each other then. They had now brought themselves to the point where the love between them had taken over their lives. There were still gaps in what they knew about each other, but that was okay. They had a lifetime. And who knew? Maybe it would take more than one lifetime, to fill them in.

The pilot's voice announcing to them that they were landing broke into her thoughts. She looked over and realized that Hal had fallen asleep. He must have been very tired, because she had to wake him up. He looked up at her, his eyes still drowsy with sleep and whispered, "I love you."

**Changes**

Hal held Phoebe in his arms as they stood out on the balcony of their suite watching the sunset. As always, it was beautiful. The colors were brilliant and, as his mother had said, the sun seemed to splash down in the ocean. He felt her sigh within his arms. He held her close. He had something very important to tell her.

"Phoebe," he said. "I want this time to be different."

She must have been lost in her own thoughts because she looked up confused. He then realized that he had picked up last night's conversation as if there had been no interruption.

"What I mean is. I don't want to have any regrets that I did not spend enough time with you," he explained. "Last semester towards the end, I felt regretful every night that I came to bed so late that you had fallen asleep. I was falling into my old pattern of putting work before wife and family. I know that I need to change."

"I want you to change," she said. "Even though I am surrounded by family. Even if I know that you are downstairs working in your study. I feel lonely. I miss you and I need you."

"And I need you," he said firmly. "I don't just need you to run the house and care for the kids. I don't even just need you as a lover. I need you as my best friend, my partner in life. These three weeks have opened my eyes to just how special you are to me. There has never been anyone in my life like you."

"I know," she said, not looking directly at him. "I am afraid sometimes that you will be bothered with me because I am not like Helen. I am much more selfish about your time. When I was Nanny, I annoyed you because I fought with you for it for the kids. I don't want to have to fight with you. I want you to give it freely."

He turned her head back to him and looked into her eyes.

"You are not like Helen at all," he said. "And that is why I love you so much. One of the reasons why I love you is that you are selfish and demanding of my time. I know now that is not enough that I love you. I must be with you to show you that love every day. There are so many things about you that I still don't know. And I know now that I won't know them unless I take the time to find out and give you the time to tell me."

"Whenever you want me," she said quietly. "I will be there."

Then he picked her up, carried her to the bed and fiercely made love to her. She responded with the same fierceness and passion. The time for words was over. He felt as if they were clinging to these final moments of solitude with one another with all their might. And when they had spent the last of their passions, she curled in the hollow he created for her with his arms.

Her breathing was steady and even. Her mouth was curved in a smile. She was at peace. As he closed his eyes, he vowed to keep his promise to her. He would change.

**Epilogue**

Phoebe was regretful as they boarded their flight home. It had been wonderful to spend so much time alone with her husband. They had reached depths within each other that bound them ever more closely together. She wished that they had more time alone.

Once they were seated, he reached over and put his arm around her so that she could curl up against him. He seemed to sense that she was feeling low because he stroked her hair and kissed her forehead.

"It was a beautiful time, my love," he said gently. "But now we have to return to real life."

"I know," she said. "But our life in Waimea felt very real to me. I'm going to miss our times alone."

"And I am determined that we are going to have more time alone when we get back," he assured her. "I know that I am going to need to change the way that I do things so that I have more time to spend with you on the weekends and in the evenings."

"I really don't know what I would do without your parents up the street," she said. "I don't know how I kept up with everything before."

"Well, maybe it's because you didn't have me to keep you up before," he hinted. "I believe that you had been a little sleep deprived yourself."

"I'm sure you're right," she said with a smile and snuggled in closer.

The plane had a smooth take off. Phoebe got ready to settle in for a nap when suddenly she felt as if her stomach was turning inside out. Thankfully she was in the aisle seat because she was able to make it to the lavatory in time.

When she opened the door, Hal was waiting for her.

"Are you alright?" he asked, his voice filled with concern.

She just looked at him weakly.

"I never get airsick," she said, but then turned back to the lavatory. She felt as if she had never been so sick in her life. Hal got a cool cloth from the stewardess and rested it on her forehead. She did not want to cause trouble or complain, but she felt helpless. She was never sick and this was miserable.

The woman seated across the aisle took pity on her and offered her some Dramamine. The stewardess brought her a cola to settle her stomach. Within a half hour her stomach was empty, but she felt as though a building had fallen on her.

The whole flight back, Hal tenderly cared for her and assured her that everything was going to be fine when they got back on solid ground. However, she was feeling so sick that she missed the little smile on his face as he held her in his arms. He only told her later that at that time he suspected that it was going to take more than landing solid ground to relieve her symptoms. In fact, it might take another seven months.

**The End**

_Or is it the beginning?_


End file.
